Ego

I am proud

yes, i am very proud

If i give you rules, you take them as commandments

you live by them and you worship them like a deity

If i tell you to do something, you better take it seriously and do it

I think am better than anybody and everyone

you do something for me, i have to cross-check

analyse, verify

until i take it as the best or at least decent quality

i am picky and i trust no one

do i even trust myself?

I have trust issues, if you disappoint me once

i will never believe you again

okay maybe i would

if my level of trust is on a scale of 1 to 10

for you every single time you disappoint me

you drop gradually down the scale

yes and if you do something that breaks me mentally

i may never believe you again

distance is what i will keep between us

when i walk, i walk straight and tall because any and every other person is not up to my standard

i like my voice been heard and if i see that you are competing with me for the spotlight

you become my enemy and i need to take you down and be in another thing

who are you to share the same limelight with me

i don’t believe in sharing, sharing are for peasants

i am not one of those

i am who i am,

do not deceive me

stay in your own lane

mind your business

Continue reading “Ego”

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Come back love

I have felt for the longest time

that i needed you

you have been my strength and yet my weakness

I have been hurt, bruised, and left wallowing in self pity

I fear the slightest thought of losing you

you have become my energy

my sun

my moon

my life

you are the water i drink, the food i eat, the breathe i take

you are life itself

the smell of spring always brings so much memories because it was the time me meet

the time you took me to that cottage of yours and i smelt what fresh mahogany crafted into furniture smelt like

anytime i walk through anywhere i feel you presence in my life

your skin

your soft skin

and your sweat or the smell of your sweat was like a strong strength

anytime i think of the times you will embrace me

with your sweat dripping down your face and touches my check

i would close my eyes, tilt my head and let it pass through my lips

oh my warrior

my prince

my source of life

where did it all go wrong

why did i let you go

why did you leave me

leave me, with this hole in my chest that is burning me so badly that i cannot help but cry cry and cry that i have lost it all

i am sitting here in the cottage

the cottage where our bodies lay

Continue reading “Come back love”

Quench my thirst

I feel this burning sensation in my throat

it burns so bad that nothing seems to soothe it

and

i feel like i am loosing my voice

ah… ah…

i try to express myself but

i cannot

have i lost the purpose to live?

This

is the 3rd day

the 3rd day in this nasty dessert

i would not have come

i would not have come if i know the feeling

i thought i knew pain,

but here is a new found pain

this

is the 3rd day

the 3rd day without human contact

i have lost my voice

from screaming

screaming so hard that maybe

the birds by some magic can take my message to someone

something

some..

to s..a..v………..e me

i want to give up but i cannot

i mean i must not

a daughter of the forest is what the people in my village call me

ha!

daughter of the forest?

a daughter who has never killed a wild animals in the forest alone

or even know the smell of an angry forest

well i guess i know now

what was i even thinking?

coming alone to the land of the unknown

i should have listened

i should have paid attention to those scouts lessons maybe i could survive

make it out

without all these fear

oh that burning sensation again

this time it burns so much

i must lay down

i look up and the sun shined so bright

it was piecing into my eyes and

it was as if it was responsible for all the pain i felt

soon

i pass out

i pass out and moments later

i feel someone tap my shoulder

the sun shone so bright on their face that i could barely make out who it was

they held out a jar of water

and i gathered strength from nowhere and drank

oh the taste of that water was like no other

Image result for thirst gif

how could water be this tasty

i push the jar away

close my eyes and try to relish the feeling

oh then i thought

where are my manners

should i not be grateful to he/she who has given me life again

i open my eyes

and

Continue reading “Quench my thirst”

Death of soul

Why?

why?

are we so quick to give advice

why do we feel we know it all

why do we consider ourselves the messiah

we tell people

oh well

do this, do that

under the umbrella of

it is just my opinion

my God… is that not what the world calls

reverse psychology

push me into what i think is not so i think what it is

and i am there falling

sinking deep into the unknown

hey!

you there

Mr know it all

Mr know what is right

pinch yourself now

pinch yourself hard because you need to touch yourself

rather that touching other people in places

where you create scars

scars that leave wounds you can not heal

make your own wound

lick your own bruises

and only help others lick theirs

when you are sure that your tongue knows the feeling

the feeling of pain

now stop

think

why am i better

don’t look at me

Continue reading “Death of soul”

I want it all

I typed this literary piece on a relaxed evening, when my fingers have the need to express words and so i let it flow:

oh! my love, for slam poetry, my love for the spoken words, the art, the craft, so carefully designed, connected intertwined.

oh! how i wish my mouth could move, my lips could open, and i proclaim the sweet coordinated words, that slams you in the face like sweat, sweat that runs through the cheeks in the hot summer days.

But, no! yet, i am trapped in my own world, but, God! do i even call it my world. my world? no! it is not my world just because i live in it, i breathe in it, or because, i think, i own it.

i am too protective, no! i am to possessive, i want possess everything i see, i want this, i want that, but no! i cannot have it all.

But, oh yes, money! the thing they consider to solve all problems, the one they consider the root of all evil yet, money, oh money, the sweet smell of your notes on my nose makes me feel like my dreams, all my hopes can come true. but then you are just a paper, one paper, a mare pare that can acquire so much meaning yet, not everything.

i want everything yet, i don’t want everything, i am confused, frustrated.

something! oh yes, i feel something running out of my hands, leaving my fingers, no! what is this? am empty, i need something, i ran here and there yet, nothing

the tears try to come from my eyes but, i try to hold them back yet, they fall, they fall, i brace myself as i see the tears run down my cheeks and exclaim no! am not weak, am only human, human with blood in her veins, with a heart that pumps blood and beats so fast

so much adrenaline, so many voices in my head, i feel the rush, i am shaking i am still shaking still, i want it all, but, not all of it

 

with love

Temi_sarita

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