Self-respect

Everyday I wake up I can feel a part of my being moving away,

I can feel that something is taken away gradually from me.

I am slipping away,

myself, my body, my being.

I am losing myself into someone or something that

I feel that i have no control of anything.

I want you so bad that sometimes i feel that i can do anything for you

I need that possession so badly that i feel that i can leave anything for it

It feels so horrible when you find yourself in a situation when

you cannot no longer control your own thoughts

your own actions

when you want to make a decision

and you cannot do it alone

when you put someone else before you

when you are second and even third place in things that matter to your life.

Well,

Hello there,

I am self-respect and those who lose me experience these things

They lose themselves into other experiences

They do things for people to please them

They do things for people for what they can get from them

or what they feel things people can do for them

they take advantage of people and

they are taken advantage of

they are not in control of their thoughts nor actions

what they previously considered as colours then become black and white

they gradually become deceived into thinking the things they loved

Continue reading “Self-respect”

Advertisements

F.I.N.E

I was watching one of Ralph smart’s videos on YouTube, an amasing guy with so much energy. i’ll insert a link to his page at the end. But then, something he said .

Fine- Fedup, Insecure, Emotional and Neurotic

got me thinking. when we say ‘i am fine’ do we really mean it. Fine has become that universal thing we say even when, deep down, we are suffering or we are in pain.

So here’s a little Piece titled fine

It’s bright and early day, or atleast that what my mind tells me.

I get up because, i have to work but then, i can still feel my bed calling back at me

but no i must work because, i have too

My mother calls and says -hey dear, how are you?

I quickly say -fine

yes, i am fine

I would not want her to worry about me even when i feel the pain burning so deep down my heart

I say fine because its the easier alternative

Yes, i am fine mother

I go to work, actually running, trying to catch the bus

but still i miss it, like i always do

and i have to wait long till another comes by

how bad can my day go

Then it starts raining

oops spoke too soon

it starts raining heavily and i become drenched with water

how do i even turn up at work looking like this?

within my thoughts the bus comes and i rush in

then again there’s traffic on the road it appears that this is the time that the major road construction taking place

oh well

i was in the bus for a good 30 minutes before i was able to make it out.

At this point considering am already 10 minutes late i was pleased that my clothes where almost try.

then as i try to cross the road to my office

I bump into a woman carrying her coffee and it splits all over me.

she quickly apologised

OMG… are you okay? am so sorry

and i said

its okay am fine.

there i go again saying fine but what else could i say

of course i was fine

i was fine but

Continue reading “F.I.N.E”