Ego

I am proud

yes, i am very proud

If i give you rules, you take them as commandments

you live by them and you worship them like a deity

If i tell you to do something, you better take it seriously and do it

I think am better than anybody and everyone

you do something for me, i have to cross-check

analyse, verify

until i take it as the best or at least decent quality

i am picky and i trust no one

do i even trust myself?

I have trust issues, if you disappoint me once

i will never believe you again

okay maybe i would

if my level of trust is on a scale of 1 to 10

for you every single time you disappoint me

you drop gradually down the scale

yes and if you do something that breaks me mentally

i may never believe you again

distance is what i will keep between us

when i walk, i walk straight and tall because any and every other person is not up to my standard

i like my voice been heard and if i see that you are competing with me for the spotlight

you become my enemy and i need to take you down and be in another thing

who are you to share the same limelight with me

i don’t believe in sharing, sharing are for peasants

i am not one of those

i am who i am,

do not deceive me

stay in your own lane

mind your business

Continue reading “Ego”

Life is a pot of beans

they say life is beautiful

they say life is hard

they say life is what you make of it

well,

this might be one of the realest comments yet

but

what does this actually mean

are we truly the author of our destiny

or are we doomed to end up a certain way regardless

do we have choirs do we really

or are they mere ‘choices’ that are in fact not there

because we will opt for the actual one

Image result for life gif

this,

maybe is what we are destined to

are you are believer of destiny

do you feel or hold on to certain beliefs that can influence your life

do you just roll with life

do you just seek to find peace in life

find money

maybe a partner

a house

a career

and the many things society sets as the prerequisites of ‘a successful life’

do you even value success

or how do you even define it

so, you there

Continue reading “Life is a pot of beans”

Lesson from Steve Jobs

Image result for steve jobs movie coverOkay, so we all know the business maven himself, the guru, the brain behind Apple, the device people globally now use. So, i happen to watch his biographical film entitled ‘Steve Jobs’ and although i was a bit let down that the film did not start from his childhood because i would have loved to see what what Mr Jobs was like as a child. Nevertheless, it would only be fair to acknowledge that the film was made to explore the rise of the ‘Apple brand’ which was done very well. Once i got into the film i was able to appreciate the laudable and and tremendous performance of the actors and the screen play of the film. Above other things i could draw one essential lesson from the film which cannot be overemphasized

“When you fall you have not broken your leg completely and so you should not stop walking. look closely its only a mere bruise, wipe it off, put on a plaster, a bandage and keep on moving because the journey has just began.” -Temi_sarita

So Steve jobs started Apple 2.0

he drooped out of college and started this amazing company in an era when there were already giants in the digital market. He had big dreams, dreams that the company would survive and become the best anyone could think of. But, yea things happen and Apple was not doing well, their stocks dropped and they were having minimum sales, things which put the company in a compromising situation that made the board fire Jobs from the company. Now look at it from this angle a company that you started, your dream, your world taken away from you just like that. I don’t know but am not even Jobs but i feel the blow and its like a hole in chest that bleeds so bad that i cannot control. that,, would have been the end for most people but, no Jobs didn’t see that as the end he rose again and started another company ‘ next- the black cube’ event though he lacked some expertise and his ambitions he was told was too much and that the apple company was too big for him to fight he keep on going and this new company became successful. so much so that almost a decade later he was reinstated in Apple.

today when you think Apple you i think Steve Jobs.

With love

Temi_sarita

x

Silent Abuse

tell me why i feel this empty hole in my heart

why does my mouth shake and move but, no sound comes out

why does it seem like i have died every time

you raise you hands on me

you scold me

Related image

telling me am not good enough

am not the right one

am a mistake

am rubbish

am stupid

am foolish

i try to look at my back in the mirror and see all the scars you left on me.

they hurt

they hurt so bad but

i cannot not speak out

because i fear what you could do

you are strong very strong and

my standards will never meet your standards yet

i am boxed in this little shell

fearing what you could do next to me

you have been broken many times

will i finally fall the next time you twist my bones

and throw me around like a piece of furniture

yet to the outside world i pretend

Continue reading “Silent Abuse”

Come back love

I have felt for the longest time

that i needed you

you have been my strength and yet my weakness

I have been hurt, bruised, and left wallowing in self pity

I fear the slightest thought of losing you

you have become my energy

my sun

my moon

my life

you are the water i drink, the food i eat, the breathe i take

you are life itself

the smell of spring always brings so much memories because it was the time me meet

the time you took me to that cottage of yours and i smelt what fresh mahogany crafted into furniture smelt like

anytime i walk through anywhere i feel you presence in my life

your skin

your soft skin

and your sweat or the smell of your sweat was like a strong strength

anytime i think of the times you will embrace me

with your sweat dripping down your face and touches my check

i would close my eyes, tilt my head and let it pass through my lips

oh my warrior

my prince

my source of life

where did it all go wrong

why did i let you go

why did you leave me

leave me, with this hole in my chest that is burning me so badly that i cannot help but cry cry and cry that i have lost it all

i am sitting here in the cottage

the cottage where our bodies lay

Continue reading “Come back love”

Quench my thirst

I feel this burning sensation in my throat

it burns so bad that nothing seems to soothe it

and

i feel like i am loosing my voice

ah… ah…

i try to express myself but

i cannot

have i lost the purpose to live?

This

is the 3rd day

the 3rd day in this nasty dessert

i would not have come

i would not have come if i know the feeling

i thought i knew pain,

but here is a new found pain

this

is the 3rd day

the 3rd day without human contact

i have lost my voice

from screaming

screaming so hard that maybe

the birds by some magic can take my message to someone

something

some..

to s..a..v………..e me

i want to give up but i cannot

i mean i must not

a daughter of the forest is what the people in my village call me

ha!

daughter of the forest?

a daughter who has never killed a wild animals in the forest alone

or even know the smell of an angry forest

well i guess i know now

what was i even thinking?

coming alone to the land of the unknown

i should have listened

i should have paid attention to those scouts lessons maybe i could survive

make it out

without all these fear

oh that burning sensation again

this time it burns so much

i must lay down

i look up and the sun shined so bright

it was piecing into my eyes and

it was as if it was responsible for all the pain i felt

soon

i pass out

i pass out and moments later

i feel someone tap my shoulder

the sun shone so bright on their face that i could barely make out who it was

they held out a jar of water

and i gathered strength from nowhere and drank

oh the taste of that water was like no other

Image result for thirst gif

how could water be this tasty

i push the jar away

close my eyes and try to relish the feeling

oh then i thought

where are my manners

should i not be grateful to he/she who has given me life again

i open my eyes

and

Continue reading “Quench my thirst”

Death of soul

Why?

why?

are we so quick to give advice

why do we feel we know it all

why do we consider ourselves the messiah

we tell people

oh well

do this, do that

under the umbrella of

it is just my opinion

my God… is that not what the world calls

reverse psychology

push me into what i think is not so i think what it is

and i am there falling

sinking deep into the unknown

hey!

you there

Mr know it all

Mr know what is right

pinch yourself now

pinch yourself hard because you need to touch yourself

rather that touching other people in places

where you create scars

scars that leave wounds you can not heal

make your own wound

lick your own bruises

and only help others lick theirs

when you are sure that your tongue knows the feeling

the feeling of pain

now stop

think

why am i better

don’t look at me

Continue reading “Death of soul”

Music is it

Music to me is more than mere words, it is the extreme melody crafted, melody that echoes in my head and releases endorphin and sets me in euphoria

-temi_sarita

I really can’t believe the month of May is gradually coming to an end and we’re already 5 month into this year. wow

nevertheless, this year ass a whole has been blessed with tremendous songs that when you just hear it, you feel it here’s my top 20 songs so far

disclaimer: considering i did a sampling of Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN album i’ll be excluding that from this list. if you missed it clicked here

  1. Liam Payne- Strip that down feat. Quavo

2. DJ khaled – I’m the one feat. Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance the rapper, lil wayne

3. J Hus – Did you see

4. Future- Mask off

5. Nicki Minaj, Drake, Lil wayne – No frauds

6- French Montana- Unforgettable feat Swae

7- Wizkid – Come closer

8. Chris Brown -Privacy

9. Migos -Slippery feat. Gucci Mane

10. XXXTENTACION – Look at me

11. Lady Leshurr -Juice

12. Charlie Puth – Attention

13. Luis Fonsi, Dddy Yankee- Despacito feat. Justin Bieber

14. Starley – Call on Me

15. Travis Scott – Goosebumps feat. kendrick lamar

16. Omarion- Distance

17. Will.i.am – Fiyah

18. Haim- want you back

19. Zedd, Alessia Cara- Stay

20. Future, Rihanna selfish

With Love

Temi_sarita

x

Broken hearts by Lang Leav

I know you’ve lost someone

and it hurts

You may have lost them suddenly,

unexpectedly.

Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left.

You may have known them all your life

or you may have barely known them at all.

Either way, it is irrelevant — you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you.

Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow is another day.

That the sun will go on shining.

Or there are plenty of fish in the sea.

What I will tell you is this; it’s okay to be hurting as much as you are.

What you are feeling is not only completely valid but necessary —

because it makes you so much more

human.

And though I can’t promise it will get better any time soon,

I can tell you that it will

— eventually.

For now, all you can do is take your time.

Take all the time you need.

I want it all

I typed this literary piece on a relaxed evening, when my fingers have the need to express words and so i let it flow:

oh! my love, for slam poetry, my love for the spoken words, the art, the craft, so carefully designed, connected intertwined.

oh! how i wish my mouth could move, my lips could open, and i proclaim the sweet coordinated words, that slams you in the face like sweat, sweat that runs through the cheeks in the hot summer days.

But, no! yet, i am trapped in my own world, but, God! do i even call it my world. my world? no! it is not my world just because i live in it, i breathe in it, or because, i think, i own it.

i am too protective, no! i am to possessive, i want possess everything i see, i want this, i want that, but no! i cannot have it all.

But, oh yes, money! the thing they consider to solve all problems, the one they consider the root of all evil yet, money, oh money, the sweet smell of your notes on my nose makes me feel like my dreams, all my hopes can come true. but then you are just a paper, one paper, a mare pare that can acquire so much meaning yet, not everything.

i want everything yet, i don’t want everything, i am confused, frustrated.

something! oh yes, i feel something running out of my hands, leaving my fingers, no! what is this? am empty, i need something, i ran here and there yet, nothing

the tears try to come from my eyes but, i try to hold them back yet, they fall, they fall, i brace myself as i see the tears run down my cheeks and exclaim no! am not weak, am only human, human with blood in her veins, with a heart that pumps blood and beats so fast

so much adrenaline, so many voices in my head, i feel the rush, i am shaking i am still shaking still, i want it all, but, not all of it

 

with love

Temi_sarita

x